Hummingbird Rocket Fuel

I have been feeding hummingbirds for years. And I thought I was pretty good at it.

Every spring, out come the feeders. I keep them filled, watch for my little regulars to return, and thoroughly enjoy the tiny territorial wars that inevitably break out around them.

Hummingbirds have always struck me as adorable little creatures with a high-strung temperament.

Turns out, I may have contributed to the problem.

Today, for reasons I cannot explain, I happened to look up the proper ratio for homemade hummingbird nectar.

One part sugar to four parts water.

Huh. That’s interesting.

Because I have always made mine one part sugar to TWO parts water.

For years.

Friends, I have been serving DOUBLE-STRENGTH HUMMINGBIRD NECTAR.

I thought I was feeding the hummingbirds.

Apparently, I have been running a hummingbird energy drink station serving up rocket fuel.

These little guys have been pulling up to my house, taking a few hits off the feeder, and leaving absolutely JACKED.

While everyone else's hummingbirds are peacefully sipping a sensible little nectar and going about their day, mine are flying backward at Mach 2, seeing sounds, picking fights with bees, and making questionable life choices.

Suddenly, I am reevaluating everything I have witnessed in my backyard over the years.

I thought that was just their personality.

Nope.

Apparently, they've been leaving my house with the hummingbird equivalent of three Red Bulls and a questionable amount of confidence.

And suddenly I'm thinking, Good grief. Have I given the hummingbirds diabetes? Can you even test a hummingbird's A1C?

These are the questions you find yourself asking when you suddenly realize you've been operating an unlicensed hummingbird energy drink station in your backyard for years.

In my defense, nobody ever handed me a hummingbird instruction manual. Somewhere along the way I learned "sugar water," came up with a ratio that apparently felt reasonable to me, and then proceeded with complete confidence for YEARS.

No measuring against an actual recipe.

No fact-checking.

Just me standing at the kitchen counter thinking, Yep. That looks about right.

And honestly, that may be the most homesteading thing I've ever done.

You can garden, preserve food, bake bread, make cheese, grow vegetables, feed wildlife, and generally believe you know what you're doing...and then one random morning Google informs you that you've basically been serving Red Bull to migratory birds.

For the record, the correct recipe is remarkably simple:

1 part plain white granulated sugar to 4 parts water.

That's it.

Not my proprietary Hummingbird Rocket Fuel formulation.

So, to every hummingbird who has visited my yard over the years. I am sorry.

To those of you who became regular customers:

The bar is under new management.

The nectar has been reformulated.

The bartender has been retrained.

And unfortunately, gentlemen, last call has officially been called on the hard stuff.

I fully expect some complaints.

There may be angry hovering.

And somewhere in Central America, there's probably a hummingbird telling his friends:

"You guys remember that place in Texas?"

"Ohhhhh, yeah."

"That lady knew how to make a drink."

Live and learn.

And apparently, occasionally, dilute.